Listen up!!

Class is in session.

Three announcements before today's lesson:

1) You may have heard of the Verne Gagne incident. This week, news reports surfaced that the 82-year-old AWA founder was involved in a nursing home tragedy which resulted in the death of another man. The best way to deal with this, I thought, was to have George "The Authority" Schire talk about it on our weekly podcast, "Old School, New School." Schire is a friend of the Gagne family and has a unique insight to this story. Episode 101, which covers the Gagne incident in detail, can be heard by clicking right here.

2) Mickey Rourke, star of "The Wrestler," may still make an appearance at "WrestleMania 25." I'll deal with that in next week's column, as well as my thoughts on the movie and the Academy Awards.

3) Every year, I like to update my "wrestler's real names" list -- just for fun. Fun. Quite a concept, eh? Here it is. Enjoy.

TODAY:
Hazem Ali: Armando Alejandro Estrada
Ken Anderson: Mr. Kennedy
Dave Bautista: Batista
Retesh Bhalla: Sonjay Dutt
Barbara Blank: Kelly Kelly
Steve Borden: Sting
Phil Brooks: C.M. Punk
Alvin Burke Jr.: MVP
Mark Callaway: Undertaker
Anthony Carelli: Santino Marella
Elizabeth Carolan: Beth Phoenix
Carlos Colon Jr.: Carlito Colon
Edwin C. Colon: Primo Colon
Cliff Compton: Domino
Adam Copeland: Edge
Daniel Covell: Christopher Daniels
Nick Cvjetkovich: Kizarny
Shawn Daivari: Sheik Abdul Bashir
Theodore Marvin DiBiase Jr.: Ted DiBiase Jr.
Nelson Erazo: Homicide
Eddie Fatu: Umaga
Dave Findlay: Finlay
Richard Morgan Fliehr: The Nature Boy Ric Flair
Nelson Frazier: Big Daddy V
Jeremy Fritz: Eric Young
Shoichi Funaki: Kung Fu Naki
Shad Gaspard: Shad
Terry Gerin: Rhino
James Gibson: Jamie Noble
Terrence Gordy: Jesse
Salvador Guerrero: Chavo Guerrero
Oscar Gutierrez: Rey Mysterio
Jake Hager: Jack Swagger
Drew Hankinson: Festus
Shane Helms: Gregory Helms
John Hennigan: John Morrison
Shawn Hernandez: Hernandez
Mike Hettinga: Mike Knox
Michael S. Hickenbottom: Shawn Michaels
Robert Howard: Bob Holly
Booker Huffman: Booker T
Devon Hughes: Brother Devon
Chris Irvine: Chris Jericho
Francisco Islas: Super Crazy
Glen Jacobs: Kane
Allen Jones: A.J. Styles
Matthew Kaye: Matt Striker
Ron Killings: R-Thuth
Matthew Joseph Korklan: Evan Bourne
John Layfield: JBL
Tommy Laughlin: Tommy Dreamer
Jean-Paul LeVesque: Hunter Hearst Helmsley
Scott Levy: Raven
Mark LoManaco: Brother Ray
Mike Mizanin: The Miz
Patrick Martin: Alex Shelley
Darren Matthews: William Regal
Kofi Sarkodie-Mensah: Kofi Kingston
Chris Mordetsky: Chris Masters
Sean Morley: Val Venis
Nick Nemeth: Dolph Ziggler
Chris Park: Abyss
Jason Paul: JTG
Dylan Postl: Hornswoggle
Oleg Aleksandrovich Prudius: Vladimir Kozlov
Jonathan Rechner: Balls Mahoney
Scott Steiner: Scott Rechsteiner
James Reiher Jr.: Deuce
Jason Reso: Christian
Dean Roll: Shark Boy
Cody Runells: Cody Rhodes
Dustin Runells: Dustin Rhodes
Joe Seanoa: Samoa Joe
Peter Senerca: Tazz
Jamar Shipman: Jay Lethal
Dalip Singh: The Great Khali
Cute Kip: Monty Sopp
Rycklon Stevens: Ezekiel Jackson
Travis Tomko: Tyson Tomko
Anthony White: Tony Atlas
Paul Wight: The Big Show
Kia Williams: Awesome Kong
James Yun: Jimmy Wang Yang

YESTERDAY:
Kerry Adkisson: The Texas Tornado, Kerry Von Erich
Tom Billington: The Dynamite Kid
Richard Blood: Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat
Terry Gene Bollea: Hulk Hogan
Adolpho Bresciano: Dino Bravo
Chris Chavis: Tatanka
Eldridge Wayne Coleman: Superstar Billy Graham
Barry Darsow: Repo Man
William DeMott: Hugh Morrus
Nick Dinsmore: Eugene
Amy Dumas: Lita
Lillian Ellison: The Fabulous Moolah
Sidney Ray Eudy: Sid Vicious
Page Falkenburg: Diamond Dallas Page
Roy Wayne Ferris: The Honky Tonk Man
Keith Franke: Adrian Adonis
Frank Goodish: Bruiser Brody
George Gray: The One-Man Gang
Peter Gruner: Billy Kidman
Jim Harris: Kamala, The Ugandan Giant
Raymond Louis Heenan: Bobby Heenan
Michael Hegstrand: Road Warrior Hawk
James Janos: Jesse Ventura
Joe Laurinaitis: Road Warrior Animal
Edward Leslie: Brutus Beefcake
Reggie Lisowski: The Crusher
Marty Lunde: Arn Anderson
Robert Marella: Gorilla Monsoon
Troy Martin: Shane Douglas
Edward McDaniel: Chief Wahoo McDaniel
John Minton: Big John Studd
William Moody: Paul Bearer
James Myers: George "The Animal" Steele
Chris Pallies: King Kong Bundy
James Parris: Ivan Koloff
Josip Peruzovic: Nikolai Volkoff
Larry Pfohl: Lex Luger
Randy Poffo: Randy "Macho Man" Savage
Jim Raschke: Baron Von Raschke
James Reiher: Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka
Virgil Runnels: Dusty Rhodes
Sylvester Ritter: The Junkyard Dog
Al Rogowski: Ole Anderson
Al Sarven: Al Snow
Joe Scarpa: Chief Jay Strongbow
Scott Simpson: Nikita Koloff
Aurelian Smith Jr: Jake "The Snake" Roberts
Merced Solis: Tito Santana
Rob Szatkowski: Rob Van Dam
Rod Toombs: "Rowdy" Roddy Piper
Kozrow Vaziri: The Iron Sheik
Sean Waltman: X-Pac
Larry Whistler: Larry Zbyszko
Steve Williams: Stone Cold Steve Austin
John Wisinski Jr.: Greg "The Hammer" Valentine
John Wisinski Sr.: Johnny Valentine

That's it. Now you can impress your friends with your vast wrestling knowledge. Aren't you glad you clicked here? Thought so.

Now scram!

Class is dismissed!

(Professor Wrestling is a masked employee of Internet Broadcasting, hailing from Parts Unknown. Got a question, comment, complaint? E-mail him right here. )