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Professor Wrestling: 'Hard Justice' Results

Samoa Joe, Booker T Scrap In Cage For Gold

POSTED: 10:51 pm EDT August 7, 2008
UPDATED: 2:04 am EDT August 11, 2008

Listen up!

Class is in session.

Once again, TNA had a dandy lineup of wrestlers to fill out their monthly pay-per-view extravaganza, which was staged in New Jersey this time around. They're guys who can work and thrill a crowd. Not that TNA management would trust them to entertain on their own. That's because in this card each match -- except for two -- was a gimmick match. If that's what you like, so be it. But when most matches are tied to a gimmick, how does one stand out as special?

As you chew on that one, here are my stunning-as-usual picks, followed by what really happened:

Podcast: 'Old School, New School' -- Episode 83

X-Division Championship Match: Petey Williams (c) vs. Consequences Creed
What Should Happen: This is one of those no-gimmick matches, featuring two really, really, really good performers. If TNA had some guts, it would give these guys a half-hour slot -- but don't hold your breath.

What Will Happen: Williams will retain.

What Did Happen: Petey pinned Creed to keep his X-Belt.

Black Tie Brawl And Chain Match: Jay Lethal vs. Sonjay Dutt
What Should Happen: Ugh. Here, two supremely talented X-Division stars slum in a modified strap match. Dutt, you see, ruined the wedding between Lethal and SoCalVal because he was in love with the bride -- hence the "Brawl and Chain" pun. Get it? Me neither. Talk about a script being overwritten. What should happen is that these two ditch the stips and just have a one-on-one wrestling match to settle their dispute.

What Will Happen: Lethal will get the victory over Dutt.

What Did Happen: Dutt loses. Wait. The crowd loses because this was an overbooked mess, which is a crime for the X-Division.

Jersey Street Fight: Christian Cage and Rhino vs. Team 3D
What Should Happen: There are no rules in this one, which means the competitors will likely take it out into the parking lot. If we see the dreaded cookie sheet used as a weapon, I'll wonder yet again how a steroid-filled man can take the brunt of thin aluminum. Again, this should just be a straight tag match, and that would be fine with me. What should happen? Give it to Cage and Rhino -- they'd make good tag champs someday.

What Will Happen: Cage and Rhino will get the pinfall.

What Did Happen: Cage and Rhino win. No cookie sheets, but a thin street sign was used. Scary!

TNA Tag Team Championship Match: Latin American Exchange (c) vs. Beer Money
What Should Happen: If you don't know the players, it's babyfaces Homicide and Hernandez versus heels Robert Roode and James Storm. While LAX is fun to watch, I have the feeling TNA is going to put the straps on the heels just because Beer Money has recieved such a huge push lately. That wouldn't be a bad choice, although I'm not a big fan of frequent title changes.

What Will Happen: Beer Money rolls out of Jersey with the gold.

What Did Happen: Roode hits Homicide with a beer bottle, Beer Money gets the win.

Last Man Standing Match: Kurt Angle vs. A.J. Styles
What Should Happen: These two go at it again to try to finally settle the score over Styles allegedly stealing away Mrs. Angle from the Olympic champion. Since this is probably the final match in this series, it might be time for Angle to do the right thing and elevate Styles to a championship tilt versus Samoa Joe.

What Will Happen: Styles will be the last man standing.

What Did Happen: In a show-stealer, Angle didn't answer the 10-count. Styles was the last man standing.

TNA Championship Six Sides Of Steel Cage Weapons Match: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Booker T
What Should Happen: The gimmicks continue as these two slug it out in a steel cage, with weapons. Not any weapons that would do any harm, mind you, but I'm sure we'll see a few garbage cans and the previously-mentioned cookie sheets of doom. Oh, and the kendo stick. Have to have one or two of those. It wouldn't extreme if you didn't have a bamboo pole that looks like it wouldn't hurt my 85-year-old mother, Mrs. Professor Sr. At any rate, Booker T looks like he's slowed down a few steps and Joe still looks like he should shed a few pounds. Maybe that's why this one is a gimmick match -- to hide the fact that these two aren't as sharp as they should be. Who should win? There's still money in Styles versus Joe for the TNA title.

What Will Happen: Samoa Joe will get the job done again.

What Did Happen: Samoa Joe, with the help of Jeff (is he coming back?) Jarrett's guitar out-of-nowhere, pinned Booker.

That's it. For the record, I was perfect in my picks. Got 'em all right. Just another day at the office, kids. So from this point forward, remember who the man is: Me.

Before you dart off, however, don't forget to download Episode 83 of "Old School, New School" -- the Professor Wrestling podcast. This week, Dr. Mike Lano, George Schire and yours truly talk wrestling movies, rip a letter writer and wonder why John Cena and Batista are the WWE tag champs. Get it RIGHT HERE!

Time to scram, because class is …. dismissed!

(Professor Wrestling is a masked employee of Internet Broadcasting, hailing from Parts Unknown. Got a question, comment, complaint? E-mail him right here. )

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